Merry Hexmas: A Postal Coastal Town

This is where all lost letters eventually wash up. I borrowed the idea from one of my favorite games, Sunless Sea. The hex is mostly filled with petty social squabbles. There's also a secret in the post office/dungeon. 

Here is a mail-carrying procedure that you can add to any hex. Nosy characters can open letters for rumors and nice ones can deliver them for warm fuzzy feelings and maybe a quest hook. 

A Postal Coastal Town
SW corner. An island in the Swirly Twirly Sea. The Island of Misfit toys is somewhere nearby. 

Approach: A small patch of calm amidst the Swirly Twirly Sea. Maybe fog or a storm but nothing weird. Perhaps a letter listlessly drifts by (roll below). Lights glimmer from a town at the dawn of the electric age. 

Location- The Shore
Guardsmen patrol the shore and arrest anyone caught stealing letters. They will probably be the first to interact with any newcomers. Soggy missives in the tens of thousands are collected by an order of urchins that place them into bins to be sent to the post office, all overseen by an entity known as the Collector. Urchin qualifications: must be illiterate, no age requirements. This is a very prestigious profession and in fact several schools have popped up teaching how to not read.

Location- The Post Office

Heavy security surrounds a subterranean assembly line. First the sog-be-gone then the must-away then the unwrinkler then on to be sorted by dead-eyed postal workers with gleaming buttons. Letters addressed to Santa elicit klaxon bells. Letters not addressed to Santa are read by shining a light through them to make sure they weren’t mislabeled (opening a letter is a postal crime warranting the worst sort of punishment). Linguists, archaeologists, cryptologists and haruspices are consulted for letters suspected of containing references to Santa. Letters to Santa are delivered to Santa in a biplane labeled US Airmail. If a letter to Santa is deemed ‘too messy’ a calligrapher will rewrite it using a process that does not involve opening the letter. 

It also functions as a regular post office ever since the old one was taken over by (insert faction) (add to any hex). Letters to the region come from mailseals, mailseagulls and a mailwhale. 

Location- The town of Epistle

A community of tailors, button-makers, hatters, cobblers tending to the demands of the postal-industrial complex. Button makers and hatters, ever at odds with each other, live in the biggest houses. A fisherman is currently mayor of the town and this has caused quite a ruckus among the bourgeoisie. Postal workers are chosen at a young age for the office. Nobody knows what the criteria is but it's definitely not brains (Ernest was selected 50 years ago). 

Currency:
Secrets gleaned from lost letters. Postal workers copy and distribute them on scraps of paper to button-makers, hatters, cobblers and tailors who exchange them for more basic goods and services. Salacious excerpts have the highest value then criminal confessions and fraudulent documents but this changes every few years or so. Urchins, being a semi-holy order have their needs provided for by the church. Writing implements and stationary are banned to prevent counterfeiting. 

Goods and services:
A night's stay at an inn: 1. Medical services at approximately an 1890s level: 3. Food for a few days: 1. Mayor Woodfred's old fishing boat: 5. Bribes: 3. Warm clothing: 2. General equipment: 2. A postal uniform: 5. 

Salacious excerpts have a value of 2. Criminal confessions and fraudulent documents are 1. Everything else is 1/2.

1. An elderly couple graphically reliving their steamy 50s. 
   
   
2. A combined apology/proposal of marriage to an estranged lover sent 10 years too late.
   
   
3. A warning that the cops are onto both of them for that bank heist yesterday. 
   
   
4. Erotic apocrypha of a popular series of novels with vampires and werewolves. 
   
   
5. A recounting of a childhood prank involving a bucket of horse feces and fire.  
   
   
6. A note to a parent declaring their intention to run away and join the circus. 
   
   
7. Madly scrawled prophecies. The end of the world begins with revolutionary elves? 
8. 
   An ancient Sumerian text boasting about selling sub-standard copper.
   
   
9. A nun confessing her unholy experience with a gardener to another nun.
   
   
10.  Half of a decoded snippet plotting an assassination against Santa Claus. But which one?

NPCS:

1. Rufus, a literate urchin. Is being blackmailed for purchasing small luxuries with secrets. Will give you a "nifty talking oyster" he found if you 'deal with' Norbert. The oyster is possessed by an imp that promises wealth and power if you destroy the post office. Rufus also knows that pens/paper can be bought from Henrietta.  
   
   
2. Marion, one of the pilots. Is actually a spy for a group of revolutionary elves. Has a cold so has been unable to fly but can be convinced to give you a message to send to them to exchange for fragments. The letter if deciphered contains information about how to destroy the post office. Will not easily disclose who the message is for. 
   
   
3. Norbert, a corrupt guard. Can be bribed with fragments to let you into the post office or look the other way while you search the shore for letters. 
   
   
4. Henrietta, a hatter has been sending romantic letters to Irving, a former postal worker who ran/sailed away to the mainland. She doesn't like how often he mentions Marion. Her messenger seagulls deliver and receive his missives with surprising frequency which Henrietta has not noticed.
   
   
5. Woodfred, the mayor, Irving's father, and a former fisherman. Worried about an invisible creature that has been frightening the villagers. An Awgwa from The Island of Misfit Toys. He's also hiding Irving who is not actually on the mainland. 
   
   
6. Irving, a runaway postal worker hiding in his father's cellar. Is not particularly besotted by Henrietta but writes to her anyway.  He's convinced that there's something occult and untoward happening at the post office and is trying to get Henrietta to enlist Marion's help to uncover it.
   
   
7. Ira, an electrician and Marion's partner. Knows how to turn off the electricity to the town/post office. Is worried that Marion has been conspiring with Willis against the mayor.
   
   
8. Willis, a button-maker that intends to to frame Woodfred. Will ask any newcomers to help plant a bundle of stolen letters in his house. Fully believes what he's doing is right so is not shy about asking. 

The secret of the post office:
There's actually a demon under there. Vlskdth the Unknowing. By uncovering secrets in letters and revealing them to the town the postal wizards renew the sigils that bind it to its prison. Most postal workers don't know they're wizards. One of the reasons they're always tired is that they're casting a spell every time they read a letter. Not to mention the long hours. They wear fancy hats and uniforms because wizard hats and robes are an essential part of doing magic.